Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Difficulties, Chestfeeding, Dads, Doula, Newborn Care, Nursing, Parenthood, Postpartum

Doula Twinklings

As I have been thinking through this post series, I have questioned what would have been valuable to know after I gave birth. Some of this might sound crazy to you, but others are going to raise a hand and say, “Yeah! Me too!”

So for my first twinkling, I am going to hit on nursing. You may call it breastfeeding, chestfeeding, or nursing. I am going to discuss the initial soreness of breasts and my situation.

I remember it so well. The nurse asked, “Would you like to breastfeed your baby?”

And in my naive, I have read all the books way, I responded,”Yes, planning to.”

And she picked up my fresh baby and grabbed my breast and said, “Watch for her mouth to fully open and stuff your nipple in.”

Well, that sounded so easy!

By day 3, I was home…alone and my fresh baby as beautiful as could be; would not fed as easily as she did at the hospital. My breasts hurt. I was exhausted. I was in pain and I was DONE!!!

Have you ever quit…really before you had begun anything? This is where I was.

No one ever told me that most parents struggle those first few weeks. No one said that breastfeeding was not easy. It looked like a piece of cake in the books! So, with my sweet baby screaming her loving head off, I gave in. My superhero of a husband brought me a drink, told me to relax and used one of those little bottles from the hospital to calm our baby and feed her so I could take a moment to rest.

And you know what!

I went on to have a very successful nursing relationship with her and she was crazy healthy!

All while, in my head I questioned everything. Don’t you?

This parenting thing looks different for everyone. Some breastfeed/chestfeed and some bottle feed with formula. Some have struggled for years to conceive and others… All this to say embrace where you are and how you parent. There is no right way and there is no right book to read. Each baby and each family is uniquely different.

Hugs to each of you. You are enough and you are the perfect parent for your child right now!

Bed-rest, Birth, Birth Hospitals and Centers, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Difficulties, Meals, Mom, Nanny for Siblings, Newborn Care, Parenthood, Postpartum, self care, Support for after having a baby

Support Matters

I remember a time when I felt all alone. 7 months pregnant with 3 others under 5 years old. I was trapped. At 29 weeks, I went to a standard appointment and explained to my obstetrician that I was having some Braxton Hicks. After that appointment I was filled with shock and in awe of what she discovered…I now had to be on complete bed-rest. I was not allowed to pick up my toddler or stand longer than it took to walk to the bathroom. I was instructed to only do the stairs once a day…in my tri-level house. I could not play on the floor or cook my family dinner. My priority was to keep my little baby in the womb as long as possible. For just about, 6 weeks I was captive in my own home and in my own body hoping the best for our unborn son.

Can I tell you something? 

Having no immediate family living in our state. Having a husband who had to work to provide for our family. I was left hopeless.

I was surprised in the most unbelievable and humbling way. There was a tribe that rallied around our family.These women made meals, watched our children, and cleaned our home as if it was their own. I had never seen anything like this!

Part of the reason why I became a doula, both birth and postpartum, is because of this tribe. I hope that no family is left unsupported. There are trained professionals ready to help you with newborn care, bed-rest situations, breastfeeding difficulties, nanny the siblings, make you meals, and lend a hand during your postpartum time.  Support matters, because it made a difference to me!