Birth, Dads, Depression, Mom, Paternal Postnatal Depression, Postpartum, Postpartum Depression, self care

After Baby – Postpartum Depression For Women and Men

Now that your precious baby is here…

How are you feeling? Emotional, exhausted, overwhelmed and yet, so in love?

Are you struggling? Maybe not recovering like you wished?

Where are your support people? Friends? Family? Spouse?

Having a baby can be the most trying time for new parents. You want it to appear like all things are going perfectly, but honestly, you are suffering inside. Getting up, a shower, and even feeding yourself are tasks that are met with difficulty.

You are not alone!

Many new parents, especially mothers, find themselves in a time of despair. They are desperate to reclaim their bodies and life as they once knew it. As many as 1 in 7 women suffer from Postpartum Depression.

Did you know that men can also suffer postnatal? Yes, it is true. PPND (Paternal Postnatal Depression) can have crippling, lifelong effects. 1 in 4 new fathers may experience PPND. PPND is more common when the spouse is also suffering from Postpartum Depression.

Here is what to look for:



  • Mood swings
  • Uncontrollable weeping
  • Lack of bonding with your baby
  • Withdrawing from others
  • Loss or excessive appetite
  • Insomnia or Hypersomnia
  • Extreme fatigue or statements of no energy
  • Little to no interest in hobbies and activities you once enjoyed
  • Intense irritability and anger
  • Worry of being a failure or not a good mother
  • Overwhelming emotions
  • Inability to focus or think clearly
  • Excessive stress, anxiety and/or panic attacks
  • Recurrent thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
  • Insomnia or Hypersomnia
  • Hormonal changes
  • History of depression
  • Spousal Tension
  • Strained relationship with family
  • Excessive stress about becoming a  parent
  • Poor social functioning
  • Intense irritability and anger
  • Lack of support from others
  • Financial difficulties
  • Exclusion from the mother and baby bond
  • Recurrent thoughts of harming yourself or your baby


Make the Call

Unfortunately, many parents of newborns suffer in silence with no idea of where to turn or who to call. They fail to recognize the symptoms and fall further into the hole of depression.

Both Postpartum Depression and Paternal Postnatal Depression can be treated. Help is available; your midwife, doctor and/or hospital will have resources for you. This is a serious matter and you need to seek a professional.

Call your care provider as soon as possible, if the signs and symptoms:

  • Don’t fade after two weeks or are suicidal in nature
  • Are getting constant or debilitating
  • Make it hard for you to care for your baby or yourself
  • Have thoughts of harming your baby or other children

As a doula and a therapist, I have seen the beauty of mothers and fathers being restored after treatment. Their families have thrived and the bond with their child was better than ever! You are worth it!

Call the suicide hotline number — in the U.S.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK


Bed-rest, Birth, Birth Hospitals and Centers, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Difficulties, Meals, Mom, Nanny for Siblings, Newborn Care, Parenthood, Postpartum, self care, Support for after having a baby

Support Matters

I remember a time when I felt all alone. 7 months pregnant with 3 others under 5 years old. I was trapped. At 29 weeks, I went to a standard appointment and explained to my obstetrician that I was having some Braxton Hicks. After that appointment I was filled with shock and in awe of what she discovered…I now had to be on complete bed-rest. I was not allowed to pick up my toddler or stand longer than it took to walk to the bathroom. I was instructed to only do the stairs once a day…in my tri-level house. I could not play on the floor or cook my family dinner. My priority was to keep my little baby in the womb as long as possible. For just about, 6 weeks I was captive in my own home and in my own body hoping the best for our unborn son.

Can I tell you something? 

Having no immediate family living in our state. Having a husband who had to work to provide for our family. I was left hopeless.

I was surprised in the most unbelievable and humbling way. There was a tribe that rallied around our family.These women made meals, watched our children, and cleaned our home as if it was their own. I had never seen anything like this!

Part of the reason why I became a doula, both birth and postpartum, is because of this tribe. I hope that no family is left unsupported. There are trained professionals ready to help you with newborn care, bed-rest situations, breastfeeding difficulties, nanny the siblings, make you meals, and lend a hand during your postpartum time.  Support matters, because it made a difference to me!

Breast Cancer Awareness, Mammogram, self care

My Pink Scare

Every time I sit down to write, my heart starts to race. It is hard to go back to the feelings of that day and that time in my life. This is a constant and ongoing journey. My heart breaks for others on their own journey. I hesitated to use the hashtags. I hesitated to be raw and open. I hesitated to talk about something so few will. It is like we are never to talk about it, its effects, and its reality. The reality is that any sickness or disease is crippling to your spirit and to your daily life. Why not talk about it?

It was late October. The breeze was cool that morning and I was questioning everything. I was only 27 and found a lump in my breast. I had scheduled my yearly check-up and made mention to my doctor. Of course, there was need for a follow-up with a mammogram.

I remember calling my mom. She had her own story. My sweet mother had a mastectomy at 27 years old due to benign tumors. There is more to it but that is her own story to tell.

 Her emotions on the phone that day screamed, “Not my daughter, too.” She walked me through what to expect at my upcoming appointment.

“The nurses will check you in. Then lead you to a special room to get change. You might have to wait before they take you to the room with the mammogram machine, so take a book. The mammogram is uncomfortable, but doesn’t really hurt. The plates will squeeze your breast and the technician will then step back and take a picture. Usually it is not a long appointment. And they often give you your results right away.”

I had a few more questions and then we said our ‘I love you’ and goodbyes. My appointment was the next day. So, I anxiously waited.

Everything happened just as my mom described. Except, they called me back for a retake. Then they called me back for an ultrasound. I was trying not to panic, but panicking at the same time. The verdict came with the site doctor coming in…” Your tissue is very dense. Currently, we are don’t see a reason for immediate concern. However, we recommend you have ongoing scans.”

Well, that was 14 years ago.  5 months ago, there was a change in my scan. The doctor requested a follow-up mammogram next month. Whereas I hope and pray that yet again there is no reason for concern…you never know. This is my pink scare journey. I want it to end and to not have this anxious feeling.

My heart breaks for those who have traveled this road and have been diagnosed with cancer. It sucks. I have witnessed family and friends win and lose this battle. Please, heed your care providers advice and get a mammogram as directed. If you have a family history of issues tell your care provider…you might be just in time.

Hugs to you all!

Live Inspired,